nakedly:

ashleighgarch:

sm3llsliketeendepression:

conveys:

oafelia:

lugubr1ous:

This has always been one of my favorite pictures

i feel like i’ve been punched in the stomach

do not want to experience this no thank you

so scared of this ever happening. I’d die. Literally.

the worst feeling

seriously the worst feeling ever

blonde-buddha:

thiscosmicobscurity:

His pledge to her:

i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you.  i will love you. i will love you.

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before, but it’s so perfect.

:(

onefitmodel:

Marriage is not about religion.
Atheists marry.
Marriage is not about procreation.
The infertile marry.
Marriage is not about finance.
It can weave poverty.
Marriage is about love.
That’s it.
And that’s beautiful.

sherlockedbyphaninthetardis:

davedirk:

davedirk:

lauraforgood:

m33wlin:

WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE FRIENDS

can we have a tumblr marriage for you guys?

seems legit

woops

IM ACTUALLY CRYING 

fullmetalfisting:

one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book 

colorado-wannabe:

So in English class we had to draw a scene from The Great Gatsby. After the drawings were done the teacher was showing them to the class, and one drawing was a pic of Gatsby reaching towards at the green light, but in the drawing Gatsby didn’t have hands. So my teacher starts saying something like how this picture has hidden meaning and portrays the helplessness Gatsby feels, and the kid next to me just casually says “I can’t draw hands.”

lynzave:

geezjenner:

lynzave:

I’m legitimately amazed at the fact that women can actually grow a person in their uterus without even trying

and then the people CRAWL OUT OF THEIR VAGINA

COVERED IN ECTOPLASM 

AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO KILL IT LIKE THAT’S A COMPLETELY NORMAL OCCURRENCE FOR US

I don’t think the person writing this realizes that they crawled out of a uterus once

I was a C section check your privilege

mynamekyle:

I bet microwaves are actually just filled with a million invisible eyes that just stare at food until it gets all embarrassed and hot

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

charlesdutton:

my mom’s boyfriend is this 6’2 super buff macho dude with many facial piercings who enjoys death metal and i just came downstairs and found him crying because they had to put down a dog on animal cops

i like him

keep him

madmeinabluebox:

forever-pretty-awkward:

Ways to kill your enemies

I know way too much about killing people because of this website

circletines:

why am i still on this site its literally me looking at the same pictures 20 times and then clicking a button so other people can look at the same pictures 20 times